Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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