so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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