these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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