I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize