People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
