how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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