I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
