there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
