Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I need moral support for this bender
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
