i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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