sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
