Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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