My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
