Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
