I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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