ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
