just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
