I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize