the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
