i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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