my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
