"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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