the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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