I think scott just propositioned me for sex
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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