McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
