i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
