omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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