We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
