Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
why do cheetos always look like penises
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
