So drunk its hurt
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
