WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
