Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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