he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
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