Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she smelled like a LAN party
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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