I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i think i have herpe
just one?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
