It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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