If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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