If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
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just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
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I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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