Do you still have your period?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
