That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Randomize
