So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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