im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
