girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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