first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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