you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
