No awkward lesbian experiences without me
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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