she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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