Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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