okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
