you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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