Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Randomize
