Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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