I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
