For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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