Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize