I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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