you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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