I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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