was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
