So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
