therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize