Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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