Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
